Tres Miserables

Today was not a good day. Today I has a sad.

Was a hospital day and despite knowing better I was feeling hopeful. I had a good morning & had devoted my lunch break for the trip and took a family member along, because that’s the done thing apparently.

I may as well have used my time to bathe in the mud banks of the River Medway.

My treatment isn’t progressing, I am no closer to being relieved of my shackles of medication. I am not being listened to about my concerns, my stress and my pain. I had to force pain relief to be prescribed. I had a metaphorical shrug when I mentioned issues with the other departments. Oh my bad, forgot that The Medway doesn’t play well as a team. 

Ridic that I had to go to the effort of going for private hearing tests because The Medway ENT is as useful as sunglasses on Mars.

I also have to send my rheumatologist the evidence of said private hearing test in order to consider any other action.

Don’t mind me, I’ll just sit here. Just sit around suffering. Might set up a Deadpool-esque syndicate.

I hate being lectured like an imbecile. I know the risks involved with every treatment available for my condition. I even know the risks that no one has even considered. If we’re being brutally honest, and I love a bit of brutality, I am doomed if I do and doomed I don’t.

So if I’m doomed either way, surely it’s better that I have a better quality of life and not have to endure the daily cocktail or the love affair with Prednisolone? If we knew the world would end next week, I very much doubt people would be swannning about having a lettuce leaf topped with quinoa and avacado jus. Nope, there would be a mass orgy of beige themed gluttony. You would take the risk right? 

I am all sorts of miserable. I am broken. Soz that I lack the humour today, think they took it all when they did blood tests.

In other news, am reconsidering a nomadic escape.


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