This Is A Shoutout To…

A little less shouting out and more an open letter.

I know the past few years have tested us both and I won’t ever forget the way you literally crumpled at the news that Christmas. I have come to realise, however, that we are being torn apart, when more than ever we need to stick together. 

These tests and scans at the moment are only temporary, but we need to see what is happening in there. I don’t like it either and we are definitely both exposed, but fighting and hurting won’t help. 

The thing you don’t seem to realise is that by increasing the pain you inflict, deliberately or otherwise, ends up hurting you more. You cause me pain, I can’t sleep then the pain worsens and has a domino effect all over – how do you feel then? Plus some of those physical scars don’t actually heal, so I look like a wreck.

We can go round in circles blaming each other and I know we can’t go back to how things were, but we can try and improve this. It hurts me that I can’t buy you nice things, that we can’t have the fun we used to and I don’t even like people seeing you in public. None of these things are ok. 

I rely on you more than you realise and currently I don’t feel I can trust you. I pushed you today, I know I did, but it was important for us both. We need to know our limits, but I agree that the outing was hard. I treated you though, so don’t be too unforgiving 

So I write this open letter, to my body, in the hope that we can unite against the Nazi Wegener’s enemy once and for all.

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